My wish for 2024 and 2023 Reflection

Last December, I sat in our living area as I do every year, setting my goals for the coming year.

What I really wanted then was to improve my skills, especially those needed to become a better trader. That was my goal, no other goal.

To become a good trader, one needs to work on oneself—discipline, establishing routines, and controlling emotions are vital to mastering this craft.

I’ve been trading for over 2.5 years now.

Today, I’m once again in our living area, reflecting on the whole of 2023. In this article, I will keep my focus of reflection on spiritual aspect of my life.

During the first quarter of 2023, everything was going smoothly—online and offline yoga classes, my spiritual practice. All fine.

At that time, my spiritual practice involved a mix of yoga asana, meditation, reading spiritual books and visiting temples. Life was going well.

But towards the end of July, things changed. I found myself crying for no reason, and it was happening more frequently. I also started taking a deeper interest in meditation.

While crying alone, I used to pray, “God, please help me. I don’t know why I am crying. What is this life? Earn, eat, sleep, travel…that’s it. Please guide me; I feel lost. Please help.”

One day in July or August, I opened the book cupboard, and my eyes fixed on a particular book cover. It displayed a picture of a young yogi: “Autobiography of a Yogi.”

I had bought it a long time ago. I recalled my Reiki teacher’s words: “Only when a person is ready, he/she can read this book. It’s for spiritual enlightenment.”

Over the past three years, I had attempted to read it but couldn’t finish.

However, that night, I held the book and told myself, “If I can’t finish it this time, I’ll never touch it again.”

In July or August this year, I completed reading it. Even after finishing it, I thought, “Hmm, okay, it’s a good book. It has fascinating stories of great saints.”

Reading such stories wasn’t new to me.

However, by the end of August, something within me began to change. I started longing for a Guru.

I kept pleading, “God, please send someone. Please, God, please.”

In the first week of September, my Aunt unexpectedly passed away. She was like a mother to me.

Already in tears and yearning for a Guru, her sudden loss added to my sadness.

Then, just a day before my birthday, on September 4th, I had a realization: “Shri Paramhansa Yogananda is my Guru.”

If you ask me about the ‘how,’ ‘when,’ ‘what,’ or ‘where’ with a pinch of doubt, I won’t be able to answer.

It happened suddenly, and for two whole days, I was in a sort of trance. Grieving for my aunt’s death and experiencing happiness knowing he was my Guru.

If you look at the book cover, you’ll notice his eyes. For three years, I always avoided his gaze. They felt strong, commanding, authoritative to me.

But when this realization happened , I kissed his eyes many times, saying loudly with joy, “My Guru, my Guru.”

I have a habit of not sharing my problems with anyone—neither with friends, relatives, nor my parents, no one. So, whatever I was going through, I kept it to myself.

My needs are less, but questions are different.

Over last few years, I used to find answers during my motorcycle rides, tried to find answers in books, temples, internet.

Then he appeared, through books. This year, he entered and occupied my mind, my essence, my existence—my Guru, Shri Paramhansa Yogananda.

and now I tell everything to him.

Although he’s not in physical form, that’s alright. The entire non-physical world is always around us.

It’s up to us how we develop our senses and calm our minds to listen to divine guidance.

Currently, with my Guru’s guidance, I’m focusing on meditation practice. My Guru and his teachings are my only hope right now for my spiritual advancement.

Not all days are same. Sometimes I feel restless in meditation, sometimes mind wanders.

Yesterday, I watched a video by Steve Harvey titled “Why You Have To FLY First Class…”. In the video, Steve mentions:

“When you fly next time, just ask for an upgrade. Give it a try at least once. Pay some extra money and experience flying in first class.

What it does is, it conditions your mind. Once you’re in first class and you witness the wider seats, the serving of hot nuts, everyone receiving a washcloth, and having a menu to choose from… where all drinks are complimentary…